(Source: 17reeasonswhy)
(Source: berryblasted)
(Source: originalkayp)
(via lez-girlz)
(via lez-girlz)
"
Tina: I have a friend in England and her daughter calls it Frontbottom.
Alice: I had a girlfriend once and she called it her Pretty Pink Pearl, PPP.
Carmen: Hmm, not to be confused with her PeePee.
Bette: You know what’s really lovely? Yoni. It’s Sanskrit.
Alice: No, no, I like, like, a non-Sanskrit trashy thing, like Tongue-trap.
Carmen: Yeah, or a, bald man in a boat.
Shane: Breakfast of Champions.
Tina: Munch-box.
Bette: Weewee.
Carmen: Ha-ha.
Alice: Hoo-hoo.
Bette: Mimi.
Shane: F*ckhole. What else?
Alice: Calcunta.
(Kit sits down.)
Carmen: Hey Kit. What’s wrong?
Kit: I just found out I’ve got menopause.
Bette: It’s okay, no more periods!
Alice: Yeah, you don’t have to take Carrie to the prom anymore!
Bette: No more mood-swings, eventually.
Tina: No more tampons or pads.
Carmen: No more midol, or excedrin, or tylenol, or any of that stuff!
Kit: But once the monkey goes south, that’s the end of it!
Bette: No Kit that’s not true. There are a lot of menopausal women who are very sexually active!
Shane: Yeah it’s true, you can still get it on!
Carmen: You are still gonna be doing the hanky panky til the cows come home!
Alice: Yeah, get yourself a little hot beef injection tonight and feel better.
Bette: You could dip the chip.
Tina: Bang the box.
Carmen: Sweep the chimney.
Shane: Ah, you could stretch that leather.
Tina: F*ck the uglies.
Carmen: Dip’n’dive.
Bette: Shake the sheets.
Alice: Oh, crack a nut.
Bette: Get some skank on the hang-low.
Alice: Ride the baloney pony.
Kit: Give that dog a bone.
All: There ya go! Yeah!
Bette: Shut the oyster, baby.
Carmen: Um, um, put some beef in yo taco.
Shane: Ride that beef bus to tuna town.
Carmen: That was so sexy, I’m so glad you said that.
Kit: I got one. The lips between the hips.
Shane: Furry monkey.
Carmen: Smurf crease.
Tina: Bearded oyster.
Alice: Bikini biscuit.
Carmen: Cooter.
Shane: And uh, Cherry pie.
Alice: Cat flaps.
Shane: What about Cha cha?
Carmen: Hairy goblet.
Alice: Clown’s pocket?
Bette: The grand canyon.
Kit: Here’s another one, fish taco.
Shane: Oh I got a good one, cream collector.
Carmen: Goodie bag.
Kit: How bout this one? Box of assorted creams.
Shane: Honeypot.
Alice: Dugout.
Carmen: Love mitten.
Shane: Mermaids purse.
Alice: Skeeky. Skeezy.
Shane: Oh I got one, the pink velvet sausage wallet. That’s attractive.
Carmen: Noni.
Alice: Ham wallet.
Bette: Coochie.
Alice: Sweet-spot.
Shane: Power slot.
Kit: Ok, I got another one. Foo-foo valve.
Carmen: Pork shutters.
Kit: Bermuda triangle.
Tina: Crabhole.
Alice: Squeegie?
Carmen: Vertical smile.
Shane: The vessel tube.
Carmen: Monkey’s chin.
Alice: Chewbacca.
Shane: What about panty hamster?
Tina: Roast beef sandwich.
Kit: Camel toe! Oh, that’s so generic.
"
—Leisha Haley as Alice Pieszecki
—Lauren Holloman as Tina Kennard
—Sarah Shahi as Carmen de la Pica Morales
—Kate Moening as Shane McCutcheon—Pam Grier as Kit Porter—Jennifer Beals as Bette Porter
hahahahhahhahahahhahahhaha I LOVE THEM ALL !!!!
